What Drama Isn’t

Drama is a word I have heard thrown around a lot recently.  It makes me wonder if most of us even know what it really means.  I am hearing it so much, every time someone says it I hear, “Inconceivable!” echo in my mind.  Promptly followed by, “You keep using that word.  I do not think it means what you think it means.”

Being a victim of an abuser of the word myself, I thought I would help educate the ladies of today.

Webster’s Dictionary defines ‘drama’ as the follows: 1) a play in prose or verse, esp. one recounting a serious story. 2) dramatic art of a particular kind or period. 3) a succession of events with dramatic progression or emotional content typical of a play.

Merriam-Webster.com puts it this way: a state, situation or series of events involving interesting or intense conflict of forces.

Merriam-Webster.com also gives the definition of a drama queen:  1) a person (especially a woman) who acts as though things are much worse than they really are. 2) a person given to often excessively emotional performances or reactions.

Now that we know the technical definition of these two words, lets begin to apply them to our lives and see how things unfold.

At work: you are an honest, hard-working individual that takes pride in their job and you work for a person who is not exactly nice all the time.  They may make comments that are inappropriate, rude, hurtful, contradictory or inflammatory.  You say nothing, eventually cannot take it anymore and quit without ever saying a word.  The life that unfolds for you now that you do not have a job is not — drama.  It is — consequences of your actions.

If at work you do choose to say something to your boss, but nothing changes, and it probably won’t.  You have bills to pay, a family to support and it is a really good job.  If you choose to quit with no notice and no other job to go to, the series of events that follows — not drama. It Is — consequences of your actions.

If at work someone keeps using your coffee mug that very clearly has your name embossed on it when you leave it in the rack to dry — not drama.  But I would be inclined to call them a — drama queen. Because they clearly want to make everything all about them.  Do not feed into this, take your cup back to your desk to dry.  Very simple really.

Writing a mean, passive aggressive note about the rudeness of said person repeatedly using your coffee cup and posting in on the company fridge, or sending out a mass email about said occurrence — drama & drama queen.

In friendships:  two vastly different people forge a relationship amidst this crazy wheel we call life.  Life hands each individual its ups and downs and each individual creates deeper ups and downs depending on their reaction and choices to the original ups and downs.  The sucky life you have because of your sucky decisions is not — drama.  It is — consequences of your actions.

Someone says something that ruffles your feathers and you stay silent — not drama.

  Someone says something that ruffles your feathers, you say something, they apologize try really hard and then two weeks later they do it again — not drama.  If you think that it is drama then you would qualify as a — drama queen. 

Sometimes life happens and people forget that a certain speech pattern they have might hurt your feelings.  If a person feels so inclined they may try to be careful of the things they say when around you, but they will not be perfect and they will slip up — not drama.

A person may also decide that how you interpret their choice of words is not their responsibility (which is very healthy) and so they may very politely and lovingly hear you out, acknowledge your feelings, express their own, reassure you that it is not personal, and then go about their lives — not drama.  Again, if you get your panties in a knot over this you would be classified as a — drama queen.

You are rude, hurtful, unrealistic, immature, snide, etc. to someone and they stand up for themselves — not drama. 

A disagreement between two parties arises — not drama.

A disagreement between two parties arises and you proceed to engage them in a name calling, curse word riddled, mud-slinging battle — not drama.

Engaging other parties in name calling, curse word riddled, mud-slinging battles continuously over silly, normal, every day issues — drama. 

A disagreement between two parties arises and you know you are angry and hurt and frustrated and you say to the other, “Hey, I am really hurt and angry and I kinda don’t want to be around you right now, so if you could just leave me alone for a few days (or a week) to give me some time to process, I would really appreciate it.” — not drama.

A disagreement between two parties arises and you stomp off and proceed to give the other a childish disrespectful bout of ‘the silent treatment’ — drama & drama queen.

Silent treatment involves you still attempting to communicate with the person you are trying to not talk to so thus ensues the high school scene of:  tell Bobby to tell Sharon to tell Chris to tell you…. — drama & drama queen.

Other person refuses to participate in crazy silent treatment ‘pass the message’ behavior and have a normal adult conversation with you — not drama.

Now lets just say, things have been volatile between two people and they have gone back and forth between arguing and not arguing and we are now at the stage of not talking to one another unless absolutely necessary because one or the other asked it to be that way.  One person attempts to simply relay a few important pieces of information, one things leads to another and both are now screaming at one another.  They stomp away from one another.  One comes back and genuinely apologizes for their behavior and walks away.  Is this drama?   NO!  This is life, this happens all time, it is called being human.

Throwing this incident back in the other persons face when it is convenient so that you can label them as abusive — drama & drama queen.

Now that that’s settled, I can sleep peacefully tonight knowing that I helped even just a few women untwist their Fruit of the Looms and live a more mature life.

Every once in a while we all wear the crown, and that’s okay.  As long as you let it get dusty between uses.


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